CONTENT.

I am a dreamer. I am a change maker. I spearheaded our family into losing a combined 140lbs after we got married. I was leader in us making the move towards lives of freedom. Not just this last time, but several times before. While out an about, I’ve gone for tattoos multiple times. I love adventure.

Jared is content and supportive. He likes planning. He will research a printer for a while until he decides on one. He owns like, 5 shirts. He’s just content. But he’s also supportive. He lets me jump and he just tries to keep me flying. And when I fall due to lack of planning, impulsiveness, or exhaustion, he’s there.

For you enneagram lovers, I’m a 7. Jared is a 5.

When I make a decision, it is quick and it is locked in. Let’s go. “Oh it’s 9pm and you want to rip out a cabinet in the kitchen?” Even when I was a teenager, “Oh it’s 2am and you’re reorganizing your room and you need a ______, let’s go!” I decide my style has evolved and I am immediately shopping to fill out that closet and I’m tossing old things that don’t fit “me” anymore. Budget and timing be damned! THIS MUST HAPPEN NOW!

We’re both right. Jared and I need each other. He’d be a miserable, adventure-less hermit if it weren’t for me. I would be an insane person without him. It’s like I have the gas pedal pressed at all times and Jared is just deciding how hard to press the brakes. Ask me how well I do with brakes…

It causes some fights. Mostly because of me. I GOTTA FLY! CAN’T LET THE MAN (literally and figuratively) HOLD ME DOWN!

I think it’s God-given that I am the way that I am. I am a catalyst for change and growth. But where does contentment come in? I’m supposed to be content. At my core, I want to be content in where God has me and with what I have and with where I am. So what does contentment look like for me practically? How do I wrestle with that? How do I allow Jared’s wisdom and gifts to not feel crushing? He’s not crushing my dreams. He’s helping me get there safely.

I’m working on it. For today, I’m moving around my entire house. If you happen to see Jared, just shake his hand in quiet acknowledgment and buy him a strong cup of coffee. It’s not easy to be married to me.